More reasons not to be . . . wasting away in Margaritaville

And how could I forget?  We have had flowering trees blooming everywhere for weeks on end.  It is like a rainbow of color absolutely exploding.  Then all the birdhouses & feeders.  We purposely set out a bluebird house that we could watch from our bathroom window, years ago.  I have watched the entire mating season.  It has been incredible.  Cardinals, bluejays, martins, way too many to mention.

Did I mention how much I love nature?  Nature and landscaping.  Years ago we had begun a formal design outside the back views of the house, and it is just an incredible sight.  I have missed so much of it because I was working.  This time has truly been a priviledge to have at home.

Last week at church I was so impressed to have God show me if I was wasting my time.  In fact, more than that.  Was I using it in the manner He would have me to use it?  If we lived in some kind of perfect world, we would examine our lives daily to see if we were living it to our fullest potential and greatest fulfillment.  As that is not reality, it is still a goal that I think is good to examine periodically for oneself.  No one can answer that question for you.  And it takes brutal honesty sometimes.

We met a wonderful family man once on a family vacation who openly revealed how much he despised his job.  I couldn’t believe it!  I barely knew him, but I asked him why he chose to spend 1/3 of his life doing something he so intensely disliked.  He then reviewed the amount of time he spent traveling, and it was significantly more time than that.  I didn’t know what I had stirred in him.  We met at the same location, same week in July, the following year.  He looked like a totally different man.  He had chosen to pursue his dream ~ and his entire family came running up to thank me.  Well, he was the brave one.  I just started yapping before I thought about it! : )

I am thankful for the experiences I have had, some that others think I should despise.  They have made me stronger, more determined to focus on what is truly important.  I know some people will never buy into that.  I feel sorry for them.  I see the struggle inside them, but I can’t fix it for them.  Some will listen when they ask how you handle the situation, and appreciate it.  Others are dismissive, and that is okay.  God gives us baby steps to learn His path is the easy way.  We can choose to follow it, or not.  Then, He may throw in a few more challenges, but He will keep trying.  It’s His nature.  And it’s our choice.  And no, that doesn’t mean that every challenge you face in life is discipline from God.  That’s another topic. . .

So why am I not bored, or worse?

I confess I am not normal.  Really.  We were in the process of moving before this had happened, and had boxed up every book we owned, sparing one or two.  We don’t have cable or satellite on our t.v.  We don’t live within driving distance of any family.  I was used to a very busy, hectic life that I really liked.  I like to challenge myself.  So why wasn’t I losing my mind when I had no way to get anywhere (totally unable to drive), and unable even to get out of our house to the mailbox?  What can I say, I really like my own company.

I was focused from day one on maintaining & improving things for an easy return back to work.  I worked on things to force myself to participate in exercises that made me think.  In fact, I didn’t even watch regular t.v. that was available.  One day I did watch a movie we had at home that was already rented.  I got bored & turned it off.  I don’t know what I will be doing if this is the same story a year from now, but it just isn’t my style to nap during the day, watch the soaps, or feel sorry for myself & eat more when I can’t work it off.

I couldn’t reach the counter tops in the kitchen, so we rearranged things.  I soon learned to always keep a towel with me because I spilled a lot.  I have cut my coffee drinking in half without any effort whatsoever.  As I got stronger, I learned how to scrub toilets from a wheelchair.  If you get creative, there are a gazillion gadgets to help you clean from a sitting perspective.  The ceilings actually got vacuumed because I finally had time.  Now, to be fair, I usually had the energy to do maybe one of these things at most per day.  Maybe two per week if it wasn’t such a great week.  But I am really not good at sitting still.  Besides, books just hurt my eyes & were very hard to concentrate on reading anyway.

Then spring came!  By now I had a way out of the house, too.  It really is all about attitude.  Some days I would just enjoy sitting outside.  Some days I would have someone pick me up some flowers to plant, and a few dollars’ worth of flowers would be enough to keep me happy without getting me worn out.

One day I got really, really, really brave.  I had had a few days when I could walk a long enough distance in the house that I got myself worn out, and really wasn’t thinking so clearly.  So I determined I was strong enough to walk the four steps down our deck to go to a bench in the backyard.  I hadn’t done any steps in months!  And of course, what goes down must come up in this case.  That hurt.  A lot.  But it was beautiful!

I think at the end of it all, no one can give you peace.  The peace that passes all understanding.  The peace that someone who doesn’t believe in Christianity will mock.  And that is okay with me.  I have heard it before, and I don’t believe that forcing my beliefs down someone’s throat is the way to approach them.  But there is a place for me that says, ‘I would not choose to be here right now, I am working not to remain here if I can change my circumstances in any way, and in the waiting period I know that God is working on my behalf in ways I cannot see, and He has better things planned for me than I could ever imagine.’  I guess when it is the core of your values, it really doesn’t offend you what others have to say about your belief system.  It doesn’t me, anyway, because it is the only thing in my life that is unwavering.