Clash of the Titans

The next few weeks will prove to be interesting, of that I am guaranteed.  I have been advised by someone well-versed in the subject of short-term and long-term disability matters how various scenarios play out.  The irony?  At a certain point, the patient begins to have little to do with the outcome.  As it stands, there are theoretically three parties; however, only two parties are currently playing.  It is rather like a game of hearts when your partner decides to ‘go it alone’.  You, the patient, sit at the table and wait until the cards have been played.

Party One:  The Employer  . . . Has been given information that states unequivocally that I should not be allowed to return to work at all.  Ever.  End of discussion.  The employer has motivation to see the employed (myself) return to work so that some reason can be given to dismiss me upon my return.  Yes, we all know there are federal guidelines in place to protect the employee from being dismissed for a medical condition.  Employers also have other means of displacing such employees.  Am I afraid?  Given the times I saw this played out before my very eyes, I certainly believe there is cause for great concern.  Nothing is gained, however, by predicting a negative future.  As stated previously, I am not a player in the game currently.  Certainly it is to the employer’s advantage financially to have me return to work, however.  This provides the opportunity for a dismissal of employment rather than a long-term disability payout.

How did I reach this point?  I really thought I was going to be gone for a few weeks. . .

Party Two:  The Medical Providers . . . Have built a case for why any further considerations regarding a return to work are out of the question.  It will not happen, I will never be a viable employee for them.  The unspoken words practically scream out, ‘please stop wasting my time and just accept that you have a LTD employee on your hands.’  That is certainly an understandable position as well.

So the cat and mouse game has begun.  We will see how long it goes on.  No one has very much time left on their hands.  And I am sitting there at the card table, just watching the game being played out before me, unable to affect its outcome in any direction at this point.

I never saw it coming.

HIPAA

Suffice it to say I have spent a fair amount of time having to know about HIPAA rules.  Furthermore, my employer puts a higher priority on it than most.  So I was assured throughout this process that all of my information was so confidential. . . ergo, the reason I have been so evasive during these posts.  Doesn’t make sense?  I didn’t believe them!

Whaddaya know?  I was right.  Information missing, vital information, and it is revealed to me by a slip of the tongue just exactly how it might have gotten lost.  Now, you either have all that information kept at your own desk for your eyes only ~ or you don’t.  Some questions are just black and white.

As my SO stated so eloquently last night upon this discovery, the parties involved probably wouldn’t realize that we would very likely know coworkers who could be walking around with all of my medical information.  We grew up in the backyard of my employer.

Now, this is not a violation of HIPAA.  Not whatsoever.  However, I have been told since the day I began working here how very protected my medical information is.  I work  there, and we are all human. Mistakes happen.  Papers get dropped when carried from office to office, etc.  But that is not what was told to me.  I asked point blank about the ‘rabbit trail’ of paperwork, and was told it went directly to the intended person.  No shortcuts.  It is my nature to begin questioning a lot of things when the little things start having holes in the story.  A dam doesn’t break overnight, but generally has pressure building over time.

Can I control this?  No.  Am I happy about it?  No.  Does it encourage open & forthcoming communication from me?  No.  By my very nature I cannot lie.  My face literally distorts when I even try to deceive someone.  I work very hard to find something positive to say when I am asked my opinion about something, and I have to come up with something that won’t utterly destroy a person who has just made a major decision.  Please don’t ask me! 

On the other hand, when I am the recipient of such situations I am going to put my guard up.  I will give others the benefit of the doubt all day until they give me reason to do otherwise.  Then I am likely to reveal as little about myself as I absolutely must.  For clarification of matters, this is hardly the first time this has occurred, but I did feel for a long time that I had some trust built up with one of the parties involved.  Others in the company definitely are not so compelled towards honesty. 

It is a character trait that I put at the top of my list when evaluating every person I come in contact with.  Is this a one-time situation because you are uncomfortable, or is this part of how you would be described?  There is a major difference between the two situations because to assign persistent lying as a character trait in someone who is in behaving in an unusual situational manner is a rush to judgment.  Soon you would find fault with everyone, and no one could measure up. 

We all have standards by which we judge people.  Hard for some people to admit, but it is true.  Sometimes it is by things that are beyond a person’s control, which is fairly defined as bigotry.  Sometimes it is based, as we are seeing, purely on a person’s political beliefs.  I am being honest ~ ha! ~ by saying this is probably the top critera factor by which I evaluate a person.  What is yours?

 

Is LOA designed to make you sicker or get well?

My whole experience with LOA has been one that I can honestly say I hope I never have to go through again.  As I have stated, I never imagined I would be gone such a long time.  I do know that I would never have made it without a family member to help me.

Everything has a purpose, but there really should be a better system.  Some of it is federal regulation, some is clearly company policy.  All of it is annoying to those who are sick and to the healthcare providers who do a lot of work & are not financially reimbursed for it.  You can say thank you, but some days it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

Mountains of paperwork, a specific number of days to fill it all out, employees who ‘don’t think it’s their job’ and could care less if I lose my job if they don’t fill it out on time.  Stress?  Stress is knowing that if it isn’t completed & returned on time, you just lost all those benefits.  I wonder if the parties involved would like to pay my hospital bills or provide a paycheck.  Through begging, pleading, and literally sitting outside in the lobby (not me), the paperwork was rushed to arrive at the final hour.  I am thinking that did not help with my initial physical healing, but we aren’t supposed to hold on to those things.  I think I am a little frustrated over that because of an appointment yesterday with a physician scratching their head, asking why this has been such a severe attack.  And he doesn’t know about the things going on internally.

I then wait to see if it has been approved.  They have an allotted number of days, and you are to be notified in a specific manner.  In fact, in two very specific manners.  One is through your local office.  They ‘forgot’.  Yes, that is the word that was used.  Forgot.  Then I would learn that everything I had signed up for the previous year as options to come out of my paycheck keep coming out.  Everything.  Because we had so much mandatory overtime & I had a ton of deductions, my paycheck was now 1/3 of what it was before. 

Until my STD was approved, I had to call in sick every day.  If I missed one day, it was over.  No job.  So every day that the medical office delayed turning in my paperwork, I had to get up at a very early hour to notify them of what they already knew ~ I wouldn’t be there that day.  My SO (to remain anonymous) was out of town or trying to keep the kitchen stocked with food that I could prepare myself during the day.  Pay bills, maintain all household responsibilities, take me anywhere I needed to go (I still haven’t driven anywhere yet).  It was suggested that he make the calls.  Yes, he needed one more thing to do.  Wait, no he didn’t.

I think I started resting about the 4th week.  Just in time for my first followup appointment.

My Last Day at Work

I am writing this after a considerable amount of time off.  I recall commenting to a coworker the day prior about some weekend plans, which is very rare for me.  I have some hints of my personal life that indicate my life is uber-swell.  It is.  Painfully too swell for some around me, and to discuss how well life goes for me sometimes would be a tad annoying for those who had to endure listening to it. . . as long as that was the only side they ever heard.  That particular weekend we had some big plans, and the coworker & I had engaged in a conversation that revealed part of my personality and general financial condition that I generally choose not to let others see.  Lift others up, don’t make them feel defeated. 

I was surrounded by people who had either made poor choices in life or felt they had been dealt a raw deal in life.  I believe that life is what you make of it.  I’ve watched family members squander away money that others could only dream of having one day, and I’ve seen other family members rejoice that someone came to visit them.  I call it an Attitude of Gratitude.

Needless to say, no one at my office had a hint that I had a chronic illness except for a few individuals that it was necessary to inform.  I was doing well physically, thankful for a job that I truly loved, and expected to retire there.  I was looking forward to the weekend, as the months upon months of overtime were wearing me out.  Many people had had all kinds of illnesses, as one would expect.  I found symptoms building slowing over time, felt I was managing them within the confines necessary to maintain my employment, but the demands kept building each month.

Nevertheless, I left on a Friday with who knows what at my desk.  We aren’t a company that gets worked up over personal security, although there is a place to lock items up.  I would do that if I knew I weren’t returning for many months.  As it was, I don’t remember anything about the last time I left work.

Hello world!

So why did I start writing this blog?  Do I have something to contribute that someone else in the universe hasn’t already written?  I hope so!  The title of my blog should be an indicator. . .

I was diagnosed with a chronic illness many years ago (which I think I will disclose at a later date) that has always been manageable.  Manageable meaning I could drive, care for my family, I either worked or volunteered (should have been working to earn SS income credits, but that is for another post), but always keeping busy.

I had taken a position with a major employer.  Little did I know.  Within a few months of my arrival, one of their chief officers made national news.  He continues to do so, and it’s been a long time.  Can you say ‘featured on 20/20′ and the likes?  I thought it had nothing to do with me.  We had a transition of leadership; every company does.  It rolled right off my back.

I’ve always been the curious type, so I thought one day as the news about our company was mounting daily that perhaps I would add a post, per Google, to be notified every time they made the news. hmmm. . . Enlightening.  At the same time, you could feel the pressure mounting in our little office, far away from headquarters, like a boiling pot.  Long-time employees demoted far beneath their level of experience or relieved of duties because their position was no longer needed.  One month of mandatory overtime for other employees turned into. . . I don’t know.  That is where my story began.

I loved my job.  Everyone, I mean everyone, around me told me how much they dislike their job.  Openly, in front of managers.  Supervisors said it regularly.  Any cheerleaders we had had all had long left the football field to head to the coffee pot to commisserate together.  The oldtimers (those who had stuck it out for 3 yrs or more) would say it had always been bad, but this was the worst.  Me?  I felt like it was the job designed for me since the day I was born.  Coworkers would call me a brown-noser, and I didn’t care.  I wanted to work there forever.  My boss didn’t exactly love me, but MB (to rename the individual) didn’t seem to like a lot of people.  MB’s personal life was a complete mess, so i never took it personally.

Then the day came. . .